Reason for Return

I tried to return the coat I bought her. Amazon asked me why.

It was January, three weeks before our anniversary. A camel wool coat. Long. Soft. The kind she'd stared at in a shop window and said, "One day." I'd added it to my basket nine times and bought it on the tenth. I wrapped it in tissue paper. I planned a speech. I even rehearsed it in the bathroom mirror like a loser.

Her name was Hana. We broke up two weeks before the anniversary. A rainy Tuesday, a long walk, and a speech that was better than mine. "I think we want different lives," she said. I nodded like I understood.

The coat arrived the next day. Sat in its box on my wardrobe, a big beige reminder.

Last night, I opened the app. Found the order. Pressed "Return Item." A little menu appeared.

"Reason for return?"

Options: "Wrong size." "Better price found." "No longer needed." "Changed my mind."

I stared for ages. None of them were right.

I clicked "Other." A text box opened.

I typed, slowly: "Bought it for someone who stayed."

Then the screen refreshed.

"We're sorry. This item's return window closed 3 days ago."

Three days. I'd missed it by three days.

I laughed. Properly, weirdly, tears in my eyes.

Even the refund had a deadline.

And of all things that expired, I was the only one still holding on.